A Hungry Heart

[Yuu Kanduet]

J'zen watched dispassionately as his beloved Blue ripped into the carcass of a large herd-beast. Tyreth was often well spoken and prideful in his mannerisms, but when it came to feeding, the average size Blue was downright vindictive. Tyreth would pounce on the animal but never outright kill it. Instead the Blue would watch it stagger for a bit before tearing into the animal alive. It was quite sadistic really, but J'zen supposed there could be worse problems. Cats did the same thing after all.

With a theatrical sigh, J'zen threw himself against the large tree he had been standing under and slid listlessly to the ground. He was feeling cooped up and restrained. The life in the weyr might have been more liberal than his life in the Harper hall, but at least he had had a place there. Here he still felt ill at ease. He was never very good at fitting in. Blast his proud and uncaring nature!

Sensing his partner's distress, Tyreth looked up and his whirling blue-green eyes slid to a concerned purplish grey until J'zen sent a soothing wave of emotion over their bond. Although J'zen could tell Tyreth was not completely appeased, the Blue did go back to eating, leaving J'zen to his thoughts once more. J'zen's foul mood brought back memories of his father and what his father would always tell him when he got to thinking meloncholy thoughts.

Thinking is a dangerous past time. That's why thinking is only done for business while pleasure takes no thinking at all.

They weren't the most encouraging of thoughts, but the idea always cheered J'zen up a bit. Perhaps there would be a chance at a break in his thoughts soon, or he too would start tearing into his food. Tyreth had once told him it was 'a fun way to relieve the stress of the week.'

[wolflover1458]

Anubith was hungry again. Not really a surprise, seeing as it had been a few days since he'd eaten anything. Hu'sik still wasn't quite sure how the dragon could handle going a sevenday or so without eating when Hu'sik couldn't even go a day. It was a shame, though; only having to eat every few days would be a good way to get more things done. There were so many things that always seemed to need to be done, and with eating in the way of them, it took longer to get to them. Dragons seemed to have the right idea.

There's nothing wrong with eating everyday. I just don't get hungry every day Anubith informed Hu'sik as he headed slowly down to the feeding grounds. The Blue dragon had a tint of red in his otherwise green eyes. Sometimes it seemed like Anubith would wait several days on purpose, just so he could enjoy the experience of the meal better.

But that's exactly my point. If people only got hungry every few days, we could get a lot more stuff done Hu'sik added to the dragon. Hu'sik could see now that there was someone else there already. A larger, dark blue dragon was attack the poor beasts. Hu'sik recalled that it was Tyreth. He soon spotted J'zen as well. He changed his walking path to head towards him, although he wasn't sure why. Anubith was still heading down to where Tyreth was. Hu'sik wasn't sure if he actually planned on speaking to J'zen. They'd come on the Expedition together, so it was only right for them to know each other at least a little bit, but he also wasn't sure if he felt like having a conversation. But did he ever?

If you ate every few days, Anubith said as he landed squarely on a herdbeast, killing it instantly. you would have to eat a lot more. How quickly could you eat even one herd-beast? The small blue dragon tore into his prey, and Hu'sik could feel the dragon's satisfaction, even though he wasn't all the close to him.

Well you're much bigger Hu'sik pointed out. It was hardly fair for Anubith to compare a herd-beast to what Hu'sik did eat. Even with Anubith in the big of his head comparing a large meal to a person with a large meal to a dragon, Hu'sik could tell that J'zen did not look overly happy. Perhaps he wasn't the only one that felt not-quite-comfortable here. Everyone in the Expedition probably felt a bit odd, even after two Turns. They'd come here on a mission, and they hadn't really accomplished anything concerning it. Everyone on the Northern Continent could be at risk of Thread, and here they were getting nothing done. Maybe they all felt so out-of-place because they had the problem of having a home on another continent. What exactly was any of them to do if they ever got back to the North? Establish a new Weyr there? Or come back and live in the South?

[Yuu Kanduet]

J'zen looked up at the sudden appearance of another Blue and cast about for his rider. He didn't have to look long because the form of Hu'sik was easily seen haloed by the evening sun. J'zen didn't look long because the sun had begun to make his eyes sting and water. Blinking the tears away, J'zen roze from his sitting position. He refused to greet anyone from the ground.

Tyreth wasn't feeling particularly picky in his greeting while he was eating and gave a brief friendly rumble.

Greetings brother Anubith. I see hunger has brought us together.

While the Blue's were engaged, J'zen waited at the base of his tree with one hand up to shade his eyes from the glare of the sun until Hu'sik could join him.

[wolflover1458]

And so it has Anubith responded to his larger brother. He kept a respectable distance from Tyreth as he lunged for another herdbeast. Hu'sik decided to push the Blue back in his mind, unwilling to think any further on their odd discussion. No matter what he might say, Anubith would end up winning. Even if there was no conceivable way to win the argument, Anubith would still win it. He had a profound intellect for a dragon, and while Hu'sik liked that about him, it was also bothersome at times.

Finishing his walk up to J'zen, Hu'sik stood a bit away from him. He never got way to close to other people. It wasn't that them being closed bothered him, but sometimes it bothered other people. And the last thing he really wanted to do right now was bother someone. It generally wasn't his thing to talk, but standing in silence seemed like it would be to awkward. With Anubith busy, Hu'sik didn't have a hard time thinking.

"Hello J'zen. Are you doing alright?" He had, after all, seemed kind of depressed. Of course, anyone was allowed to be upset. What did it matter anyways? He was probably just preoccupied in his thoughts, like Hu'sik had recently been. That did seem to leave a feeling of sadness, or at least vacancy, around someone. Hu'sik knew what that was like. He wasn't the best at paying attention.

[Yuu Kanduet]

J'zen lowered his hand when Hu'sik was close enough to block the dying sun's rays from burning his eyes. Hu'sik was one of those that had accompanied him to the South, but they had never really had a conversation before now. That's why J'zen startled slightly when asked a question. Of course surprise was no reason to be overly rude.

"I am feeling a tad out of sorts as of late. It's not easy fitting in with people you have no desire to associate with."

Tyreth let out an amused snort at that comment, and J'zen shot him an imperceptible look. His Blue had been unusually hyper. Had Tyreth been a Green, J'zen would have simply assumed he was being frisky. However, since Tyreth was not a Green but a Blue, J'zen was unsure as to his beloved's change in attitude lately.

"Have you had any of the same problems? You don't strike me as a very out-going kind of soul."

J'zen decided standing was too much trouble, and without waiting for a reply to his question, sat gracefully down amongst the roots of the large tree. The movement was a far cry from his previous flop, and the familiar poise of the upper-class served to relax J'zen slightly. Proud bearing was something he had always managed to pull off most attractively.

[wolflover1458]

Odd. Even out here, J'zen managed to keep some sort of royal air about him. Of course, Hu'sik wouldn't know anything about that kind of thing, but he doubted he could keep the dignity of some upper-class person from the North even if he'd wanted too. Hu'sik also had to wonder if people like J'zen had some different way of having a discussion. Or maybe that was just J'zen. At least it was some kind of a pleasant conversation though; he knew that some of the people from the Expedition didn't get along at all. Hu'sik didn't really know what it was like to have enemies, but he doubted it could be much fun. "I'm alright," Hu'sik shrugged, thinking up the words slowly and carefully. "Haven't talked to a lot of people, but it's not that different from home really." Except at home, it had been ships, and down here, it was dragons. But other than that, things didn't really seem all that different. He learned how to do something knew and avoided having lengthy conversations with the people he was doing things with. That was pretty much what he done in the North. The reality of it saddened him some. As much as this place was similar to home, he still found himself thinking about going back sometime.

Deciding to himself that there was no point in standing if he didn't have too, Hu'sik very carefully settled himself down into the grass. He didn't try to do whatever it was J'zen had pulled off. Sitting down seemed to help him think a little clearer. His thoughts drifted momentarily to Anubith, who was to busy gnawing on a piece of heard-beast to pay attention to much else.

[Yuu Kanduet]

Studying his conversation partner, J'zen listened with an imperiously detached look on his face. Of course, if J'zen had really been disinterested, he would have stopped the conversation long ago. As aloof as he seemed, J'zen was secretly relieved to have someone to talk to.

"What exactly did you do in the North? I was a harper, studious in history and song. Often with the two overlapping."

J'zen's hand slid from his lap almost of it's own accord so that his long fingers could twine through the grass in an absent gesture of self-comfort. Harpering was everything to J'zen even in the recesses of the South, even with his beloved eating not so far away. J'zen would never give his Tyreth up, but he did so wish that he could continue as he had been raised.

"It has been so long since I performed any duties as a harper. My father would be so ashamed, not that I care much. I do love my father, but I will always be the kind of person to put my wishes first. It is my life after all."

[wolflover1458]

"I was a fisher," Hu'sik remarked. He was aware that J'zen had probably lived with (or near) his parents while he was learning his craft. Hu'sik had to wonder if that made it easier to learn, or perhaps harder. "I spent a lot of time at sea, and the rest of it was working on the ships at land. I didn't seem my family too much after I started apprenticing." After all, they hadn't been that close to where he was living, and they had their own things to do. While Hu'sik had certainly missed them, he now thought it might have been a good thing, since he couldn't miss them any more now than he had before. It really wasn't that different, even if they were much farther away here than they had been before. Besides, he still might get the chance to go back up to the North, although he wasn't sure how it would ever happen.

Hu'sik came to realize he hadn't done much with his craft, either. There just wasn't as much use for a fisher at a Weyr, where the dragons ate herd-beast and wherries, and the people could more easily forage around in the forest for food. It bothered him to think that perhaps he would end up losing everything he had spent Turns learning because he never used it. "There hasn't been as much use for our Crafts, I guess," he said quietly. To himself, he was thinking that he ought to find some way to still use what he had spent his life learning. Even though he wasn't completely sure what he could possibly do to here. It wasn't like the Weyr routinely sent people out to sea for anything. He wasn't even sure if they ever went out to sea, and they could fly if they needed too. Was there anyone on the Southern Continent that ever even bothered to have a boat or ship, and then to do something with it?

[Yuu Kanduet]

The Blue rider gave Hu'sik a long look. The other man did seem to have a more muscular build that belied hard labor, a look that J'zen knew he would never be able to pull off quite so well, but then again, J'zen had no desire to look like a man of the field. Instead he was rather content with his debonair physique.

"Perhaps the Weyrleader would permit you to sail sometimes. We still have the ship we sailed over in correct? You might even be able to teach some of the Southern lads a thing or two. It would certainly add to our diet. I tire of land lubbing critters every now and again."

J'zen raised his arms a stretched, arching his back until it popped. Sitting, standing, even laying down made his restless and antsy, but he was far to composed to let it show. Instead, J'zen would remain stock still until giving a long stretch or suddenly and rapidly changing positions.

"The Weyr has no need of another harper though. I must content myself to private concerts for Tyreth and the occasional eves-dropper."

[wolflover1458]

J'zen might be right. The Weyrleader might be willing to let Hu'sik sail again. Of course, he might also have no interest in letting anyone else learn to sail, and Hu'sik could hardly handle a ship on his own. Besides, the Weyr had survived without boats for hundreds of Turns, so they didn't really have a need to start now, and with all the important things coming up, this hardly seemed like a good time to mention to someone that he wanted to go out sailing sometime, seeing as he'd spent all those Turns learning how to do it. Besides, there were a lot of important things that sailors and fishers learned, besides just sailing around on the sea. The Weyr probably didn't have much information on the sea if they didn't really go out there. Hu'sik had to wonder if they even wanted information on the sea. If they were interested in that kind of thing, they would have gone out to sea long before Hu'sik had gotten here.

J'zen was probably right that they didn't need another Harper though. That was one craft the Hold already had taken care of. Hu'sik also wasn't quite sure what he could possibly say about that. If they didn't have need for someone else to play music, than they didn't. He also didn't really know that much about playing instruments, and singing and such. If he knew more, he might have been able to decide if J'zen could play with another Harper, or if having him around wouldn't be a bad thing really, since it would be different music, from the North, and it might different. Of course, Hu'sik wasn't really sure if music from the North did sound different from the music in the South, so he couldn't really think of anything to say. Besides, if there was some way around it so J'zen could still play, he would probably have done it already.

[Yuu Kanduet]

Cocking his head at his silent companion, J'zen watched a variety of thoughts shift by in Hu'sik's light blue eyes. The harper had no real desire to interrupt, but it was rather hard to have a conversation without a second party. Otherwise J'zen would just be talking to himself, and that was silly.

"A mark for your thoughts?"

J'zen cocked his head expectantly at Hu'sik as if waiting for a reply.

--

~Sorry it's so short. Since it was mainly Hu'sik's thoughts in the last post, I didn't really know what to do with J'zen. Sorry.~

[wolflover1458]

Hu'sik shrugged. He had never been much of a person to talk to other people, but then if he didn't like talking he probably shouldn't walk up to people and start conversations. There was definitely a lesson to be learned in all of this, but it was a lesson that Hu'sik doubted he would end up learning. "Just wondering if they'd want to bother with fishing anyways, especially with everything going on now." He thought about it for a little bit before he added, "And wondering if Northern music is any different from Southern music, although I wouldn't know." He hadn't heard much of either kind of music, so that would make it rather difficult, but if it was different then maybe some people wouldn't mind listening to J'zen.

Of course he still thought that if that really was the case J'zen would have thought of it already, since he was the harper. Then again, taking care of dragons could be a lot of work. They hadn't grown up with dragons around, and they hadn't had their own dragons for very long at all. It had only been a couple Turns, and it still felt like there was something new to be learned all the time. And with Thread coming back to Pern soon, there would be a lot of things that they would need to prepare for. The Weyr probably didn't have time to spend on the crafts of any of the people who had come down from the North. They had more important things to worry about.

[Yuu Kanduet]

J'zen gave a small shrug as if the topic at hand was of little importance. In truth J'zen was very interested in the topic, he just didn't show his own feeling well in front of others.

"The music has slight discrepancies, but it's not just music that makes up the harper trade. We are teachers and record holders, and the South does not want me privy to such sensitive material as their secrets or their children. I can play music without permission any time. I just choose not to because nothing irks me more than having people pick and choose what part of my trade that I might practice."

Rolling his eyes until they were focused on his fellow Bluerider's face, J'zen studied the man in front of him for a long moment. His face was carefully blank and his thoughts were imperceptible to anyone not inside his head.

"What would you do if they told you could have a boat but no net? What would you do if they let you on the sea but did not let you sail? Would you be content to sit there rocking on the waves while tied to your mast?"

Looking down with a bitter expression, J'zen gave a tired sigh. Too long had he remained, a caged animal straining against his chains of his own making. He was unable to break free and still he found this captivity bitter-sweet for he loved with all his heart the one that kept him here.

[wolflover1458]

In the future, Anubith suggested, don't talk about things you don't understand. It will make you seem more intelligent.

Hu'sik knew that Anubith had a point, but he didn't respond. "You're right," he told J'zen. "I suppose this was a risk we took when we came down here." It wasn't risk any of them had expected, but they had risked everything in coming. They had just not realized what that really meant. And Hu'sik had the feeling J'zen was more mad at this place in general than just Hu'sik. Impressing to dragons had changed the lives of the people that came from the North. Hu'sik wasn't even sure if he would have come down here if he'd known what awaited them. Now, of course, he wouldn't give up Anubith for anything, but if he had known about this, there was the possibility he would have done anything to be prevented from heading down to the South. Not that he had been overly keen to the idea in the first place.

"I wonder if the same people would have come if we knew we would end up Impressed to dragons rather than heading home," Hu'sik mused. No doubt, some of them would have been more than happy to try out that new lifestyle, but there must have been others who came on the Expedition that would rather have stayed home. They hadn't known much about the South other than that there were supposed to be dragonriders down here. And now they were all there two Turns later, with dragons of their own, and going home seemed even more distant than ever. Anything could be happening in their homes in the North even now.

[Yuu Kanduet]

Tyreth finished his meal and was now sitting regally as he cleaned his muzzle and foreclaws. Content blue eyes whirled beneath their multifaceted surface. Although he seemed calm, a small sliver of lavender had worked its way into the rims as Tyreth felt J'zen's depressing emotions.

J'zen studied Hu'sik closely. He was about to say something that could potentially get him in trouble, and he wanted to size the other man up before he said anything.

"You know about the coming of thread, right? The North is not ready to handle that. I have been wondering if the Weyrleaders even plan on letting us warn our kin."

Eyes as hard as stone, J'zen stared off into the distance in the direction he knew to be north. he had a family up there, and J'zen would die before he let them die in vain. The Blue behind him gave a soft noise of assent. They were both protective about the ones they loved.