Its not easy being Green (K'dyn)

[HG]

(Nemesyth and Poseideth at 20 months)

Just another day in Paradise... or so it was for many people. For N'var it was anything but a paradise. His usually snippy green had decided to become even more so toward him although the fault was not entirely Nemesyth's. His own emotions were not easy to deal with. What was going to happen to him in the near future was difficult for him to think about. He was at the point where he was having to face the realities of being a greenrider. Not the least of which being greens were the most promiscuous of dragonkind.

Nemesyth lay on the sands by the lake, dozing in the afternoon sun while her rider mulled over the facts. Eventually he got up from where he had been sitting beside her. His mind was not helping matters right now. This was obvious in the sudden twitching of his bonded's tail. Nemesyth was annoyed. He went over his position once again in his head.

On the one hand, in the North greenriders are regarded as swinging a certain direction when it comes to relationships...and this direction is highly frowned upon. Which would mean my parents would be none to pleased to learn of my riding a green dragon. On the other hand maybe I would have ended up with a man regardless? Maybe I was always in denial because it was looked down upon?


He highly doubted that would be a comfort to anyone. It wasn't like he lusted after every man he saw. He might find himself looking at them more than women but he used to think he was just comparing them to himself. Now he knew better. He knew he looked at men because he liked men.

This would explain why he had never really gotten into trouble with women at the Hold like other young Holders often did. It was Autumn here and it was not particularly cold, in fact he would call it warm. The sun was out and as long as one stayed in it the air felt even warmer. He missed Autumn in the north when it did get cold, with gusting winds that could knock a holdbrat off his feet. The leaves changed color and then fell. Here Autumn was an extension of summer, slightly cooler and with a higher chance of rain but every season seemed to be just like the last.

One of the many reasons he should have stayed where he belonged. Nemesyth was the best thing that could have happened to him and she was quite possibly also one of the hardest things he would have to explain if he ever returned home again. Which brought him back to thinking about being a greenrider. He would have to deal with things as they came. There was no reason for him to believe people here would understand his predicament.

He sighed and leaned back on Nemesyth's right shoulder. Nem raised her multi-faceted eyes to him saying, You are a Dragonrider. No one should care what you do outside of your duty to Weyr and Pern. This is something between you and whomever you choose to bed. I personally don't see why its a big deal. If N'var wanted pity he was not going to get it from her.

[firethorne]

He was a brownrider now. It was rather difficult to wrap his mind around the concept at first, but now, nearly two turns later, K'dyn had grown slightly more comfortable with his new place in life. Of course, his family would have an easy enough time accepting his dragon, at least he thought so, as brownriders were known to be heterosexual. The same, however, could not be said about greenriders. Yet, even as that thought occurred to him, the holder realized that it mattered not. What his parents wanted, what they accepted, seemed to pale when the boy, at last, admitted something to himself that he had been denying for quite some time. He liked N'var...much more than he should.

Ever since they had left their homes, the other holder had been the only one that he could count on, could talk to, could find comfort with. At first, K'dyn had assumed that it was only because they were the same - raised as a holder's son, sent on the same mission, and both with the same amount of pride and honor riding on the result. Yet, after Impression, as the months wore on, the boy slowly realized that he felt more than just friendship for the greenrider, he was...attracted to him. K'dyn realized that now. He felt at ease around the other boy, but more than that, he felt an urge to grow closer to him, and more recently to do much more than just that.

But...was that right?

Who cares? Poseideth asked nonchalantly, striding beside his rider in the bowl. The brown had grown quite large in the past twenty months, though he was resting in an average size for his color. I'm going to chase any green I like, male rider or no. If you want to sleep with Nemesyth's then do it. Believe me, no dragonrider is going to think any different of you.

Sighing, K'dyn shook his head. It's not that easy, Poe. My family...they aren't going to understand. If I ever see them again, anyway.

Blinking, the brown nosed his rider playfully. Again...who cares? You're a dragonrider, Mine. What can they do? By the way, that dude's over there. The one you got the hots for.

Jerking to a halt, K'dyn's eyes widened as he glanced over towards the lake, feeling his dragon's amusement as heat warmed his cheeks. Yet, the boy still moved forward, N'var being one of the few people he actually wanted to be around. Actually, he was the only one K'dyn wanted to see right now. Poe slipped ahead of him, pausing beside Nemesyth to give her a little draconic smirk before he slinked past her to slip into the waters. Care to join me, pretty green? He asked smoothly, treading on the surface as he awaited her reply. Meanwhile, his rider approached Hers. "Hey, N'var." The brownrider smiled, looking much better than he used to. He had been eating, and so his form was lean but solid, the darkness under his eyes fading to leave his face as handsome as ever. Sitting at the edge of the lake, K'dyn gestured the other holder over. "You look troubled. What's on your mind?" He asked, unable to fight against the affection and attraction he felt.

[HG]

A dragon could not possibly understand his dilemma. They did as instinct dictated and then also as Queens and their rider's commanded. He did not expect Nemesyth to care much but the complete lack of anything resembling sympathy was a bit coarse even for her. “You have to be right all the time don't you?” He asked the green. She stared toward the lake waters and replied, I do not have to be but I do like to be. Its better if I'm happy. Indeed she could make his life easy or she could make it hard. For him it was much better if she was appeased.

The green, though having seen Poseideth and his rider coming kept her sighting of the pair to herself. She would much rather let him be caught off guard. All his emotional tension would be relieved now that the one two legged he liked most approached. The green continued to watch the pair while her rider pondered his life. He was deeply troubled by nothing important in her opinion. She was only concerned that he allowed himself to be so troubled. The Sun does grow warm. A dip in the water will be nice. She responded to Poseideth's request. Not wasting any time thinking about her rider's reaction to K'dyn's approach.

At K'dyn's voice, the greenrider turned his head, brightening a bit at seeing him. The smile which hid the concerned look on his face showed his dimples and came as if he could not control it. K'dyn was someone whom he could always rely on, trust implicitly, from the same background so he understood all the things N'var went through and most of all was the only man he had begun to develop any feelings for thus far. Brownriders though were rarely inclined towards men and often only in flights when they were. He was aware that one day his feelings would come out but for now he did not feel it was a good idea to put himself out there. Being vulnerable was not his forte. N'var did move to where the other man sat and took a seat next to him. The proximity in which he had set himself next to K'dyn was closer than he probably realized. Again he did this without thinking.

“Some of the same problems I usually deal with. Today Nemesyth has been completely incapable of being at all sympathetic to my situation.” And just what was his situation? N'var gazed out at the lake, thinking about what the best way of presenting his case was. “Becoming a greenrider means I've had to evaluate my entire life. Before, I never really took the time to think about why I never fooled around with anyone back home. I assumed it was because the right woman had not come along. The fact that I looked at men never seemed strange to me. I convinced myself I was comparing myself to them. Everything that seemed so normal to me then seems to point to all the signs I'm aware of now.”

After a short pause he continued, “My father will never understand.” Or approve and would most likely have him disinherited. Not that it mattered much being a youngest son. He looked over at K'dyn wondering how the other was taking what he had been saying. N'var was saying he liked men, openly to another man. It was a hard thing to do for anyone who was Holdbred and in denial for many long Turns. “I'm not even sure I understand. You grow up believing one thing about yourself only to find out that it isn't so. That you've duped yourself into believing a lie.” The fact of the matter was, he did not know what to do. He could not hide who he was. Not even in the North.

I do wish he would just say it! Nemesyth commented to Poseideth. If N'var likes someone he should tell them. Then he has a better chance of getting what he wants. Is yours as stubborn in these matters as mine?[/b]She asked Poe for his opinion partly because she wanted to know if this was going to take a lot of pushing on her part or if his rider might make a move. It would be better if she did not have to get involved. That the two humans liked eachother was obvious, that they were capable of acting on their feelings was not.[/font]

[firethorne]

He had expected her agree, of course, but the brown knew better than to say that aloud. Poseideth was well aware of how temperamental and vicious the green could be, and he, very wisely, kept that smug opinion to himself. He hummed softly as she joined him, closing the protective lid about his eyes so he could slip under the water. The cool liquid enveloped his body, and the brown twisted in the lake, enjoying the feel of it sliding over his hide. A dip in the water is nice. He agreed, rumbling with a flirty tone as he added, But it is much better to share the water with a pretty lady like yourself, Nemesyth.

The other boy's smile was enough to make the Igen grin as well, and K'dyn was keenly aware of just how near they were once the greenrider joined him. Had N'var meant to sit that close? Somehow, the brownrider had a feeling that he was just over thinking things, that his private desire to be with the other holder was causing him to imagine what was not there. Making him see what he wanted to, not what really was. That dampened K'dyn's spirits some, but nevertheless, he relished being so close to the greenrider. He was silent while the other boy spoke at first, absorbing the full meaning behind the words. He could certainly understand the dilemma. He had the same one.

Staring at the lake, the brownrider felt more than saw the other holder's eyes on him, and he turned his own odd, amber gaze to focus upon N'var's face, wanting nothing more than to reach out and comfort him. Finally, the Igen let out a low, slow breath, giving his friend a small little smile-smirk. "Well...I can understand. Believe me." He said, choosing his words carefully. K'dyn wasn't sure if it was wise, what he was about to do, what he was about to say, but he had never been afraid of taking big steps, of putting everything on the line for something he wanted. And right now, he wanted N'var. He wanted his affection, he wanted his...love. "I know that brownriders can swing either way, but...I've had to admit to myself that I'm not one of the straight ones. I think I duped myself, too, N'var. Or rather...I know I have." The boy then shrugged, holding the greenrider's gaze despite his nervousness.

With a sigh, K'dyn smiled softly. "There are tons of gorgeous women down here, N'var. I've had my share of chances with them too. But I'm not interested in any of them. When I think of who I want, I can only see one man." Abruptly, it struck the Igen that he did not say 'men', but 'one man.' He had admitted that he held affections for only one man, and who else would it have been? The brownrider could feel his cheeks warming, but attempted to ignore it. Well...the feline was out of the bag now, wasn't it? Unless, of course, N'var was totally oblivious about these things, which wasn't likely.

Snorting, the brown heartily agreed with Nemesyth's words. I must concur with your sentiments, my lovely green lady. My K'dyn is just is bad, I assure you. His feelings for Yours are strong, but he refuses to just admit them to him. I just don't understand what the big deal is. If you like someone, just say it. The worst that can happen is they say no. With that, Poseideth gave a mental shrug. But he's too stubborn to listen to me.

[HG]

Nemesyth swam with her head above the water. Her gaze obviously on the two young men on the beach. As much as she loved flattery, her rider was driving her to distraction. Oh I know I am, N'var says I'm the fairest dragon at the Weyr so it must be true. I'm also intelligent like yourself. She was trying to be as pleasant as she could but truth be told, she had always been a bit self centered.

The man's smile meant at the very least he was glad to see N'var. If he could take that as any more than a friendly smile then he would have. A smile to someone who was smiling at you meant little though. Even strangers may smile to one another. He needed to listen to what K'dyn was saying, as the other young man always had a point. K'dyn understood? How? The greenrider doubted they were in the same predicament but he would hear all of what the other had to say. His gaze was the most disconcerting of anything. Was he looking at him like that on purpose? N'var chalked it up to being a little too fond of K'dyn and continued to try to focus on the other man's words.

It took a moment for the words to sink in. K'dyn was like him? He liked men? This had to be some sort of dream. He would wake up and find out this was not really happening. He might just have to pinch himself to be sure. As K'dyn went on, he felt his mouth grow dry and a tightness come upon his throat. K'dyn only wanted one man...not just any man. N'var tried to remember if there was anyone K'dyn spent more time with than himself. He could come up with no one. Could it be possible? As K'dyn's blush grew deeper, N'var could almost laugh. Not that the laughter would have sounded at all like it came from a sane person. He felt himself wanting to make K'dyn say who it was. It didn't matter that he had figured it out for himself. He needed confirmation.

“You want me?” N'var asked, incredulous at his own good fortune. Few people could boast finding someone they liked who shared the same feelings in return. His blue eyes held the same maddening mirth as his laughter would have as he moved in closer to the brownrider, so close in fact that their thighs touched. N'var added as if he was not sure what to say at this point, “I've been falling for you for some time...” His hand reached down and lay on top of K'dyn's. The feel of his skin was enough to make N'var warm inside. If this was wrong, he had no desire to be right.

Now we are getting somewhere. Nemesyth felt a lot better now that N'var had confessed in turn. They were going down a road now from which there was no return. They are all stubborn. Good thing yours has some guts. I'm going to have to tell N'var what a softy he has been.[/b] [/font]

[firethorne]

Oh I must agree. The brown replied, not nearly as concerned with the two boys as his lovely companion was. He slithered through the waters, enjoying the coolness of the liquid as he neared the bottom of the lake. Certainly you are the fairest on Pern, Nemesyth. My intellect does surely pale in comparison. Yes, Poseideth was a flirt, and a talented one at that, and if there was one thing he was good at, it was sweet-talking the ladies. Or maybe that was his only talent? Meh, details.

With putting so much of himself out there, K'dyn had prepared for the worst. Mentally, the Igen had tried to build a solid shield for himself, to keep himself from utterly breaking apart should the greenrider reject him. Would it work? Probably not. He had just laid himself bare before N'var, and if the other boy pushed him away, K'dyn knew that his heart would shatter, as would his decently composed front. Of course, he did not have complete control over himself. His cheeks were warm, and he could feel his heart hammering as he awaited a reply. N'var's first words made the brownrider's pulse quicken, and he wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not. The Igen held his breath for just a moment, his own amber eyes light and intense as they locked onto the greenrider's. The blue orbs held a nearly feverish brightness within, and K'dyn's heart gave a lurch as his friend moved closer. Close enough that they touched.

For once in his life, K'dyn found it difficult to speak. He had never felt so tongue-tied in all of his life, and with his heart hammering and his blood rushing in his ears, he almost couldn't even think straight. "I..." The boy began in a whisper, sucking in a breath and trailing off as the greenrider's hand settled over his own. His amber gaze was locked upon the other's gorgeous blue eyes, and the Igen managed to clear his head enough to speak. "I want you." He murmured, leaning closer to N'var and closing what little space was left between them. His heart leapt to hear that he was not the only one falling, and that was all the incentive K'dyn needed. Eyes never leaving N'var's, the brownrider paused just inches away from his face, body trembling with suppressed energy and nervousness. Wetting his lips, the Igen whispered, "I've already fallen. I'm lost."

With that, K'dyn leaned forward that last little space, his bottom lip just sliding against the greenrider's. It was then he let out a shuddering breath, the feel of the tiny contact enough to set every nerve in his body on fire. Banishing his fear, the brownrider pressed his lips against N'var's, almost afraid that he would be pushed away. Yet, K'dyn was suddenly alive, more so than he had been in his entire life. Everything felt so perfect at that moment, so right. And the sheer feelings that coursed through him...only Impression surpassed them. And yet, at the same time, it wasn't enough. Now that he knew N'var returned his affections, there were far, far more decadent things that K'dyn wanted to do besides kiss, but that would come later. Right now, this was perfect. It was bliss.

Pulling back just a few centimeters, if even that much, K'dyn let out a shaky breath. "I've...been wanting to do that for a long time." He admitted, laughing softly. Though he tried to control his voice, the brownrider could hear how breathless he was, how quiet his voice sounded, and how it shook. How sluggish and dazed it was.

Finally. Poseideth agreed, surfacing just enough for his whirling eyes to find the two boys. Well, color me surprised, sweety. I didn't think the kid was ever going to admit his feelings to Yours, but I'm glad he did. I'd never tell K'dyn this, but I can't stand to see him in such torture. I'm glad for them. The both of them. He said, and for once, the brown sounded sincere and actually gentle.

[HG]

With Nemesyth flattery could get you anywhere. If dragons could blush she might just then for suddenly she felt a little strange talking to the brown as she was. The green had never been a flirt or even remotely interested in trying to win over any of the males from the clutch. Her rider's inhibitions had affected this. Now however she was being treated as desirable by a male and it was a big deal to her.I hope you mean what you say. Nem wanted to believe him because it was how she felt she should be viewed. She could be very angry when she was lied to. Nemesyth did not want to end up trying to seriously wound him for flirting with some other green. She could be jealous to an extreme. Poseideth should be wary of what he was getting himself into.

N'var knew K'dyn was struggling to find words, just as he had struggled. Despite generally never being at a lack for them he too found this discussion difficult. Once they were passed this awkwardness things would be wonderful. He knew they would. N'var said nothing letting his first love decide what he would say. While K'dyn was searching for the words, N'var pushed back his doubts that perhaps he had meant someone else. No. Even someone as stubborn as himself could see K'dyn was thinking about him. Touching made things even harder for he felt himself growing a bit excited. The words I want you were set his heart fluttering, his smile grew and he completely lost himself in this new feeling of being loved by someone.

As the brownrider moved in N'var trembled a bit. Every part of his body sang of K'dyn's nearness. If K'dyn was lost, N'var was more so. The greenrider let his head move slightly so that their lips could touch. A feeling that he had never known was a kiss that meant something more. He had no idea the affect it would have on him. The kiss itself was like being struck by lightening. He was consumed by a fiery passion which was not exterminated when the brownrider pulled back. His eyes danced as if this were what he had longed for his entire life. Were people allowed to be this happy?

He was aware how much he too was shaking. His voice came out as breathless as K'dyn's though every place where they were or had touched felt on fire. “I've never been kissed like that before.” He said it in a way that suggested he wanted more of those kisses later. He had kissed some Hold girls generally in a flirtatious way. None of them had really had an affect on him at all. This was completely different. He was not just flirting and K'dyn was no silly Hold girl. Now he was in love and nothing would be the same for him.

Holding the other man's hand he brought it to his mouth and kissed the palm. “Now my handsome brownrider, you must make it a habit to kiss me like that and often or I will be very quick to steal them from you myself.” The greenrider's flirtatious tone was trying to make light of the situation. There was no need to make things awkward. Their kiss was perfect, they were perfect together. His family would have to deal with it.

We will be seeing more of eachother now. [/color] Her rider had not been happier than this since she had first met him. Nothing could abate her glee that he was finally who he wanted to be and with the person he wanted to be with. The only thing that might put a damper on things would be Nemesyth flying. Her first flight and who knew how many would show up for that. Luckily being a larger green, she would have more stamina and be better suited for a brown to catch...at least she hoped so for her rider's sake. [/font]