Something New (Tags T'shiro)

[HG]

I refuse.
Vaylee stared at her dragon like she had two heads. “You what?”
I refuse.
“We must, and why are you being so stubborn?” She could not remember a time when Cupith was ever obstinate. The green was so easy going and malleable and so eager to please.
I won’t allow you to risk the egg, not now.

[/color]

“What egg?” The dragon was not making any sense. Vaylee looked at her with concern. The green might be ill or something, she was not sure what could be wrong. All her time in the infirmary she had not heard of dragons being delusional.
Silly. You are egg heavy. Did you not notice?
Egg heavy? What was she a dragon now? Egg heavy, pfft! She looked down at her body. So she had to have her pants taken out a little. That meant nothing, she’d been so lax on working out and eating right lately. Faranth she’d been so hungry she’d even allowed herself a bubbly after dinner most nights.
Do not be dense dear. Its unbecoming.
Are you saying…
It will be so cute! I love the little ones. What shall we call it? Who shall we allow to look after it? Oh mine, is this not going to be fun?![/b]

While Cupith continued her upbeat monologue, Vaylee turned three shades more pale than she already was. Her breathing became shallow and she reached for her bed post before she started to fall. Scooting herself onto the bed she sat there and stared at her hands for she did not know how long. Her thoughts were not pleasant like Cupith’s were. A baby. Her having a baby. She was literally freaking out on the inside. She could not have a baby. She would die. Her mother had died.
Can you tell how many eggs? She asked Cuptih, hoping there was only one.

I’m sorry mine, I am not able to. Maybe when more time has passed. But you are not happy?[/color]
Cupith, I do not want to die. Vaylee said as tears came to her eyes. She was so careful. How could this happen? She had grown too comfortable. Stayed with T’shiro for too long. If she were sleeping around she would have remembered. She wiped the tears out of her eyes. They were going to have to end that relationship and soon. She would not be with a man out of pity for her condition.

Condition. She didn’t like that word. Oh and the conversation with her Wingleader was going to be so great too. At least she would be able to keep busy at the infirmary. Are you going to tell T’shiro first? Vaylee pouted and pulled a pillow over to her chest to hug. Maybe, she would. Maybe she wouldn’t. Did he really deserve to know. He’d killed her just as surely as if he’d taken a sword to her chest. Reason suggested he would not have known that. Few other riders knew except for her twin. Zaylee would be just as concerned. Cupith I don’t want to tell anyone. I know I have to. I just need a moment to gather my thoughts.

A few candlemarks later….

T’shiro’s door was in front of her. She knocked softly. Maybe he would not hear it and she could turn and leave. Now was not the time to be the coward. He had a right to know, kind of. At least if she died the child’s interests would be looked after. No child suffered in the Creche for having a Bronzerider for a father. In a way it was a good thing she preferred the company of the upper echelon of Dragonriders. He might not be too happy about all of this. She had prepared herself for that. The sooner she got everything out the better. From what Cupith suggested it had to be more than three months along. It concerned her that she had seen no huge signs like morning sickness. The eating could have been a clue and the gaining weight but she had been eating so the gaining weight seemed normal.

She’d much rather have come to quench her desire to be loved for a little while than for news like this. And now it would all have to be over. Vaylee’s simple dress made the little weight she had gained less noticeable. Her eyes were pink and blotchy and she had done nothing to change that. She had a glow about her that went unnoticed by her but on her walk over she felt the eyes of people on her back, heard the whispers. News would travel fast., tomorrow was going to be a miserable day.
[/blockquote]

[Inadua]

Crucluith was sitting outside on his ledge, one set of black talons hooked over the rocky edge. He repositioned himself as his massive draconic head swung around to face Vaylee, offering a gutteral greeting as she came up their stairs and went to T'shiro's door.
It's Vaylee. Something is bothering her.

The Bronzerider's mouth tightened at the corners, turning to a whit of a frown while he fastened the buckle of his belt around the hips of dark pants.
Had someone died he hadn't heard about? Was she mad? Crying? Uhg, he hated funerals; he hoped that wasn't the reason she'd come to see him. Watching sniffly women weep was lowest on his list of things he wanted to have to put up with.
T'shiro finished getting dressed by pulling a slim-fit shirt over his head before heading to the door, curious as to what else would bring the woman to his doorstep if it wasn't for his affections in some form. if she was upset, would she be seeking consolation? T'shrio wasn't cruel. .....But this was Vaylee, and he particularly liked seeing the Greenrider get her feathers ruffled, so there was little in the world that would elicit 'consolation' from him on her behalf. He began to wonder if that was due to the fact he was beginning to like her. Doesn't the saying go, that little boys pick on the little girls they like the best? Anyway...

Opening the door to Vaylee, he stepped aside from the threshold to let her pass through. One glance at her face was telling enough that Crucluith's assessment had been correct. Something must have her feeling really out of sorts for her to come to him?
He tried to appear genuinely -at least a little- concerned.
"Vaylee. Come in."

He stood there for a brieft moment, not knowing what else to say, but figured she was the girl and she would do most of the talking. "Have a seat, if you'd like."

T'shiro motioned to the seating area at the center of the main room where colourful, plush floor cushions surrounded a low-lying table. At the table's center was the artfully lacquered ceramic bowl of an up-raised hibachi heating element with a flat, grill-like top. Only a kettle for tea sat on top, but within the hibachi itself were the gently smoldering embers of scented woods which filled his entire weyr with a pleasant aroma.

[HG]

Nodding to the Bronze in acknowledgement to his greeting, she waited for T’shiro to open his door. When he did she wanted nothing more than to smack him in the face. He was so calm, so nonchalant… the asshole. Her current state was his fault and he had the gall to act like nothing could bother him, like he was completely untouchable. Perhaps he was lucky that her anger was overpowering her intense desire to cry some more. He’d probably not care. Most of them didn’t but seeing as he’d made no mention nor had she heard of any offspring, he might be a first time father. In which case, perhaps she should share in the experience a little. After all, she did want him to look out for the wretched thing after she was gone.

Walking in, “T’shiro.” She said without her usual smile. Normally she could go on being charming when she was upset but she had never been so afraid in her entire life. Even Cupith was unsettled and unable to sleep now. “Alright.” She said, as if it couldn’t matter if she stood or sat. Of course it didn’t. Nothing she did from here on out would matter except for making sure the thing was born and healthy. She had to give it the same chance she was given by her mother for survival in this world.

“Were you busy?” She asked although she really could not care if he were. The man had no idea what she was going through. He might as well continue to pretend he cared what happened to her. “I won’t take much of your time, I promise.” And Vaylee meant to go on with her morose sounding monologue in the hopes that he would let her say her peace without interruption of any kind. Shards she was going to have to pretend she didn’t care at all about what happened between them now. Men didn’t want to bed pregnant women. It was just one of those things. Unless they were weyrmated, something that Vaylee intended to stay away from for the rest of her life. However short it might be.

Vaylee’s blue eyes met his when she began to talk. The blonde never had so much trouble getting words out of her mouth as now. “I” then came a pause followed by “I’m” and just when she seemed unable to get any further “…I’m pregnant.” She finally had the words come to her. Her whole body was trembling uncontrollably as she said, “T’shiro, we’re having a baby or two.” She was a twin after all and twins ran in families. As much as she wanted to be happy, she could not smile. Her melancholy might seem strange to anyone who did not know Vaylee’s worst fear.

Before she knew it the tears were back. Sobbing she said, “I’m going to die. I’m going to die like my mother.” She was the opposite of happy. New mothers should be happy, shouldn’t they? She wondered how her mother had felt, if she knew she would have twins, if she thought she might die in the process of birthing the babies. She did not regret her mother’s sacrifice although Vaylee would have been happier to have her mother with her. Not that her father had ever taken any real interest in her. The people who raised her were wonderful but she still wondered about her mother so much as a child. Now the mystery was still unsolved but it bothered the greenrider much less.

[Inadua]

Fighting the urge to take a big gulp to swallow any growing uncertainty, T'shiro cleared his throat instead. He didn't care for the look that Vaylee gave him as she accepted his invitation. Hers was an expression that made him feel as though he'd severely underestimated the severity of whatever circumstance Vaylee was about to share with him.

“Were you busy?”
“I won’t take much of your time, I promise.”

Well wasn't that the trick question of the century? There was no sending her away when she came to him acting like this.
"No. Don't worry about it."

The Bronzerider was quiet until she was ready to talk, though he did close the door behind them and then closed most of the distance between himself and the Greenrider so that he could be there to support her if she needed it.
She was having a really difficult time of all this. When her clear blue eyes met his own, he had a hard time handling the depth of pain he saw there.

"I,"...“…I’m pregnant.”

T'shiro was sure he paled. His eyes diverted momentarily, as if searching for some clue that she might not be telling the truth. But when she began to speak again... began shaking, his eyes focused on her again. His hands did, too.

“T’shiro, we’re having a baby or two.”

But women had babies all the time. Was she realy so worried? He knew it was dangerous and could be life threatening if something went wrong. Granted, he didn't know much about childbirth, but...but women lived through it to raise their own children often enough. That's how nature was supposed to work. They had to keep living. She had to, too.

“I’m going to die. I’m going to die like my mother.”

Her own concern reflected in narrow, hazel eyes.
Caloused hands moved to grip her arms gently. Supportively. T'shiro quickly learned that that wasn't enough to suffice him.
The strength of well-worked arms encompased Vaylee, hugging her to him as she began to sob. He wanted to funnel all of his strength into her while he held her there, trying to be comforting. But Vaylee had an admirable strength all her own. Somehow he just had to help her find it.
He let her cry on his shoulder, cradling the back of her head with one hand, the other settled on her mid back. Even if she tried to fight him, he was not about to let her go.

"Vaylee. Try not to be afraid. Your mother's fate does not have to be your own. We'll keep you healthy and both you and the baby will live long, happy lives."

In a moment of spontaneitiy, the Bronzerider's arm dropped to catch her behind the knees. T'shiro swept her up into his arms, walking into the bedroom where he lay her comfortably upon the soft mattress and silken comforter of his bed.
When he lay her down, all of a sudden exhibiting that tender care he showed to her as a lover, he began to smile. Positioning himself over her in a way that hindered the movement of almost every one of her limbs, again, he obviously wasn't keen on letting her go wandering away from him. In fact, in light of the new revelation regarding her pregnancy, he was going to turn into one protective Bronzerider.
"I'm sorry. I am worried but I'm not. And I don't discount your concerns.. but I'm happy and I ... I really want you to have the baby."

Soft lips bent to plant adoring kisses on her face, no matter how mean her expression may have been, nor how hard she may have fought it.
There was something else he wanted to add however, which stopped him for the time being.
"You have to promise me though," as he said it, his expression grew a bit stern.
"You won't die. Because if you do, I'll never forgive you, and that burden of sin for breaking a promise will rest upon the head of our child forever.
"So promise me! You can't die. Don't even say those words. Not ever again!"

[HG]

The greenrider had not expected much from this meeting. And as usual the Bronzerider had taken her by complete surprise. Where she had thought he would be cool and cavalier about the situation, he was quite the opposite. Her body stopped trembling when he encircled her in his arms. Although the crying continued for a few more moments, she felt much better in that he had shown such concern for her. While his words were heard, Vaylee had a hard time believing her mother had not done everything to be healthy. Could things go wrong? Yes, in any situation this was true. Her almost irrational fear was fading a little. Things could be different for her and even so she had months to think about all of this. No doubt the added stress was not going to help her at all.

Before she knew what was happening, T’shiro had her on his bed. His actions were so decisive and strong, the woman was having trouble not being her normal self. Having been pinned beneath the man, she felt her pulse quicken. Wide blue eyes watched as he spoke to her about their new situation. He was happy? At least one of them was, she supposed. Then when she thought about it, she was not all sorrow on the subject. Perhaps once she had time to think about things and get used to the idea she would be feeling more happy herself. “I have no desire to lose the baby, intentionally or otherwise.” Even if it meant her death to have the little one, she could not Between with it after Cupith had refused. Besides, as much as she dreaded its birth, she was rather protective about it. That he wanted it made things a little easier on her conscience. He would look after the little one, if she wasn’t there.

The adoring kisses were met with little to no emotion at first as she was putting together what he was saying and doing. Vaylee would like to reciprocate, although the moment seemed a bit off for her. After he said what he was dying to get out, then it would be her turn. She watched his expressions carefully as he went on about her not dying. He almost sounded desperate. It was not like he could not find a woman or women to make him comfortable when she was no longer there. He had never indicated to her any special favors. He’d even given the Goldrider, Marlaey, a present when he had yet to do anything of the sort for her. Still, Vaylee could not mistake the serious tone for lack of feeling, she was much too in tune with human emotions. He cared about her.

Vaylee who had been silent through what he felt he needed to say stopped herself from mentioning his feelings. If he cared about her, why should she make him tell her? He would find a way to show it himself. In the meantime she had to answer him or be locked unmovable beneath him forever. Her soft voice came out clearer than it had earlier, “I promise.” She was tired from her exhaustive crying and her emotional stress. Through it all she felt oddly at peace now. The look in his hazel eyes when he had made her promise, her own heart fluttering at the thought that he might actually fear losing her, was this the beginnings of love? She had never been in love, not that she could recall anyway. Such thoughts needed to be kept privately. She had a reputation to salvage after all even if the plan was now out the window. Part of this meeting was supposed to include her becoming angry and ending their relationship. Neither of which had happened, at least not yet.

“T’shiro, I think you are going to have to let me go now. Or I won’t be able to thank you properly.” The smile on her face indicated she would not be going anywhere.

[Inadua]

Love? T'shiro wasn't sure he was in love. Like Vaylee, the Bronzerider had never fallen in love. Maybe he'd never truly seen that as a necessity in a relationship with a woman, but that didn't stop him from loving the Greenrider before him. Good, even loving relationships didn't have to start or end with 'falling in Love'. However, to maintain harmony, they did have to start and end with mutual Respect. There was no telling though, where the two of them might end up through all of life's unexpected twists and turns -especially this one.

T'shiro knew he wasn't really the type to ask anyone to marry him. Matrimony was for those who liked to stand on ceremony, which of course, everyone knew, he had great aversion to. The woman had guessed correctly though, that T'shiro would find a way of showing his feelings for her on his own. 'I love you', was probably one thing she, nor any other woman, would ever hear him say. The Bronzerider had probably never even considered whether or not that phrase existed in his vocabulary, even when it came to his own family.


“T’shiro, I think you are going to have to let me go now. Or I won’t be able to thank you properly.”


Thank him? For what? Puzzlement adorned his features for a moment, drawing his brows together in a furrow.
But since he'd heard her promise that she would not die, he lifted himself off of her, sitting on the bed to one side, facing her. He was glad she didn't plan on going anywhere immediately, judging by her tone.

T'shiro's eyes studied her abdomen for a moment to see if there were any obvious physical signs yet of the pregnancy. How far along could she be?

"You did the right thing by telling me. Don't even think about going Between now that I know."

Crucluith could pull rank to make sure Cupith wouldn't do so, but the Bronzerider figured that some such conversation had already come up between Vaylee and the Green, and that if an abortion was going to happen, it would have happened already. Nevertheless! He wanted to make sure that wouldn't happen.

There came a pause where he seemed to be a little nervous about saying what came into his mind next, but it was short lived. After all, T'shiro certainly wasn't known for ever holding his tongue. "You can stay here."

Were those words a mere suggestion? It certainly sounded like he was making a matter-of-fact statement that she would stay there if he had any say in the matter. But he left the sentence open ended so that she still felt like she had a choice.
"Because I don't want to see or hear of any men providing you with company at your weyr. And If I hear of any inappropriate behaviour going on around you, or any men being too forthcoming..."

A certain vehemence laced his tone like acid and the warmth of those hazel eyes quickly changed into a more dangerous heat; now they seemed more like stoked embers, threatening to burst into flame.
But the pause that broke his speech was not to re-think what he was saying, no, no. He was much too bold for that, rather, the pause helped him reign in that fervency and bring it under control. Vaylee didn't need to bear the brunt of his temper in any case.

"I don't care if it's the Weyrleader himself. They can all go through me, before they lay a hand on you or our child, for any reason."

Certainly by all accounts, there was no denying that he was being fully truthful, and wouldn't even shy from confronting the Weyrleader on her behalf. Of course, T'shiro may have been overdoing it a bit, but there was no mistaking, he would protect Vaylee and the baby like a Queen guarding her clutch.

[HG]

She lifted herself up a little, seeing his confusion she smiled again. “Your reaction has eased some of my concerns for the child. Some men really don’t care.” She sat up and scooted close to him. Then took his hand to the area he was observing as if trying to discern if the baby was there. “I’m very fit and thin so it is harder to see right now.” And no she wasn’t being vain, at least not intentionally. She placed his hand on the slightly larger abdomen. There was a bump there but as she had said, it was hard for people who might not see her much to tell. She should have noticed sooner really but her life was so jam packed with things she needed to do she did not take the time to assess her weight gain. She shot him a look saying she had no thoughts to kill the baby. She’d thought they’d already settled that.

“I see.” She said to his thought on her staying. She was not one to fight his demands but she was going to put her foot down if he was going to become a control freak. “I can sleep in my own weyr you know. I’ve got Cupith there. “And she had no enemies that she knew of. Other than the common enemies of the Weyr, she was the type to get along with everyone. “Going a little overboard?” She said in irritation and drew her hand off of his. He dared to assume she would put the baby in danger so that she could have a good time with some man or another. Vaylee was not so careless. She was much too social to not flirt with men, even if she had no real interest in them.

His anger should have frightened her. Perhaps a smarter woman would have agreed to everything and gone along with his every wish. Vaylee was quite malleable as far was greenriders went but she would not allow him to treat her like she had no means to keep herself out of trouble. Where did he come off, telling her what to do, who she could see? The young woman tried not to allow herself to grow angry “Just because I carry your child does not mean I’m now bound to you or that I have to comply with every request you ask.” She was a sensual person, she wanted to be around men and he knew that. Her loose reputation was not going to help her in this conversation. Obviously he was already invisioning her with other men in her weyr. Jealousy was unbecoming.

“Your concern for our baby should not interfere with my personal life.” She said, trying to keep her voice as level as possible. Too late she thought about how she wanted to diffuse the situation and not make it worse. After a deep sigh she said, “I wish you would trust me.” Vaylee shook her head, and moved behind the Bronzerider. He was jealous of people who did not exist in her life. Wrapping her legs around him she began to rub his shoulders. “Why are you fighting with ghosts? Have I given you any indication another man was on my mind?” Her mouth was next to his ear. He really needn’t worry. She did not have the time or energy to seduce anyone.

If he had only asked her to stay with him instead of demanding it, then she would have stayed gladly. And his whole approach to protecting her was a little much for her. She wanted to be with him through this ordeal but his reaction was making this hard to envision. Why had he not kept it to himself and allowed her to be who she was, a free woman who was happy to be with him. Not a slave who had to do as he wanted and resented him for it. Vaylee did not want to resent him. She had already decided she did not want to go through this without him or she would have allowed the conversation to escalate into a heated argument and then break up. Vaylee knew that was not possible right now. She needed him to be strong on the days when her resolve started to fade.

[Inadua]

Calming noticeably when Vaylee took his hand and let him feel where their baby now grew, his expression also softened.

Yes, he figured she might just assume sleep in her own weyr...he was hoping she would choose to be with him though, even if it wasn't every night.

“Just because I carry your child does not mean I’m now bound to you or that I have to comply with every request you ask.”
“Your concern for our baby should not interfere with my personal life.”

Though he didn't really expect any less, coming from Vaylee, somehow the words still stung him more deeply than he anticipated. Instantly on guard again, he drew his hand away from her.
He was simply trying to express his concern for her and the baby. How could she come at him with an attitude like that? He was completely incensed by her.

Of course he should have a say in her personal life now -that baby was also his, and it went with her. Therefore, he had a right to know where the baby was and be able to ensure that it was safe at all times; even if he felt nothing at all for Vaylee.

In that moment, it took every ounce of control not to unleash the most abusive thread of scornful words he'd ever thought about a woman upon her. Ironic how his silence may have led her to believe he simply had nothing to say, but it showed in his face and in his suddenly hardened eyes that she'd set him off. Perhaps for the first time in his life at the Weyr, the Bronzerider chewed his own words and swallowed them. It was a very difficult thing for him to do.

Anger would find no cracks in the mask of glass that he wore in order to uphold a reputation worthy of a Bronzerider, however. But how thin was that glass? How clearly could one see through it, to where murky currents of destructive rage could be found lurking just beneath the surface? He did not keep such undercurrents of wrath well hidden.

Surely Vaylee had seen it there, that extreme volatility? Surely she had some understanding that what she'd just said would trigger some sort of ignition? Did it ever scare her? It didn’t seem that way. Did it ever make her wonder? Why? How?
Maybe she was stupid not to be afraid of him. Looking at the whole scheme of things, she really only possessed a small piece of the picture that told who he really was. Vaylee had made a choice not to ask questions early on in their relationship. She had no idea what acts of terror he was capable of committing. To her, he was just a Bronzerider.

In any case, it was easy to get a woman pregnant -if D'seus' long line of legacy were any proof of that- and T'shiro could just as easily change his mind that he wanted anything to do with her. The Greenrider had no idea what fueled him. She had no idea how loose or tight was his control on anger. Vaylee had never seen him in a truly tense situation, so she was certainly very trusting that a man like him, known in the Weyr for past anger issues, wouldn't snap, and do something rash.

What more though, of that rage that possessed him? Perhaps it was easy to assume that T’shiro’s 'anger issue' was present only due to a lack of emotional maturity or merely existed as the residual effects of past trauma. Yet, there was no proof as far as anyone else was concerned that there had been any such traumatic life event that would have caused him to store up such a lasting hatred. So could that really be the case? And since his graduation from Weyrlinghood, T’shiro had never let on that it was unbearable, the way that anger welled up inside of him, thereby proving at least to some extent, that he was capable of not letting rage get the better of him. So he couldn’t be completely lacking in the emotional maturity department.
Truly, there were no signs other than immediate outward-lying tension, that either of these typical suppositions became the truth of the matter; how often was it then, that truth was overlooked for the adaptation of the most easily accessible answer? What did Vaylee believe about him? And what then, was the answer to the mystery of T’shiro’s seeming constant indignation, when such a force of it thrived so dangerously close to the surface?

If the anger extant within him were purely uncontrollable, then it would have understandably consumed him long ago; but no, anger did not control him. At least he hadn't felt that way for years, until now? When he'd graduated to the official rank of Bronzerider, T'shiro had fought a battle within himself, and was finally able to harness it. There were times when the Bronzerider struggled to maintain control of that rage, but those times became more and more rare. T'shiro was now fairly adept at keeping it quarantined.

A strong presence of underlying fury therefore, was left in place by his choosing alone. Had anyone ever considered that possibility? Anger did not haunt an unwilling soul, as many readily assumed. T’shiro had forged the rage within himself into a weapon, and found no necessity in keeping it well hidden -only scarcely contained behind that glass mask. Yet, as far as his knowledge, no one had ever seen through it, even though such a thing were fairly translucent. And there it was... boiling on the edge of chaos, just within his grasp, leaving everyone else to believe that he was a hopeless case of heated emotion who'djust as soon be lost to it.

Vaylee must be feeling lucky though, if she hadn't really figured as much out yet. Even though T'shiro's grip on anger was ever tightening, even he couldn't say for sure what it would take to tip such a feeble balance in the favour of chaotic loss of control. Or had he garnered a better control of it than even he believed? Whatever the case, when it happened, there was certainly an abundance of fuel to burn, that'd just been sitting, waiting in store.

So, it was when she'd said those things the first sliver of a crack could be seen in his glass mask. The hand he'd withdrawn from her, went to conceal the half of his face that wasn't scarred by blades and hidden by long bangs. Ducking his head a few degrees, it was as if something had physically pained him. The Bronzerider cast a glare up at her through side-swept bangs and between calloused digits where they settled to garner the focus that he would need to not lash out at her. Trying to store all the tension within a clenched jaw, the man's eyes filled to a degree with malcontent; what other feelings he harboured for her at that moment could only have been of irascible nature. Disapproval at one or more or her words couldn't have been more evident.


They both knew that they hadn't 'fallen in love'. T'shiro loved Vaylee because he'd chosen to. He'd made a conscious decision to give her his affections and try to show her he cared for her, even if they didn't share in some love story from a fairy tale. If she wanted to chalk it all up to no more than ugly jealousy, so be it; If he were truly a jealous man, he'd never have been with a woman of her reputation in the first place... but right now, him possessing any thoughts of jealousy was far from the case. For all he cared at the moment, she could have been downcast to become no more than a drudge's whore and he'd not think twice of it beyond the fact she carried something that partially belonged to him.

The Bronzerider possessed no romantic notions about being in love, starting a family, or anything of the like. He would have offspring though, at some point. Since it was he who planted the seed within her womb, he could also make choices for it. He could just as quickly help her snuff the life out, and if he ever chose to do so, there would be no hesitation on his part. Having dedicated the earlier part of his life to a mercenary clan, it had quickly been drilled into him that hesitation was something that a fighter could never afford. Therefore, hesitation was another of those words that did not exist in his world.

T'shiro did not want to feel that way towards her or the baby though, but again, they were not 'in love'. The Bronzerider could afford to harden himself toward her if she wanted it that way.

The fact that Vaylee had come to him and hadn't already made her escape or some such, assured him that her words hadn't expressed the full truth of what she felt. T'shiro tried to grasp onto what Vaylee meant by the stinging words...what she really wanted...if she did indeed still want to be with him. But he only had time to complete partial thoughts before she moved from infront of him. He was grateful when the woman took it upon herself to defuse the situation, and T'shiro's hand came down, following her with his eyes as she slipped behind him, furling her legs around where he sat.

“I wish you would trust me.”, “Why are you fighting with ghosts? Have I given you any indication another man was on my mind?”

Indication? What other indication did he need other than her reputation previous to meeting him? Perhaps they'd been seeing each other for longer than Vaylee had spent with most, but how could he know that meant anything to her? Even if she did come to him after deciding to keep the baby.

The Bronzerider turned the words over in his head over and over again, 'I wish you would trust me'. 'I wish you would trust me'. Was that something that he could do? Well, he hadn't exactly not trusted her before now, but Trust in his mind, was shared as a very special bond between men or family members.
Through still gritted teeth, he offered only this, "I will trust you...

"...to deliver us a healthy child."


Taking a deep breath however, continuing thoughts along those lines see,ed to lighten his mood, as did her words to some extent. The shadow that had crept over his expression began to fade.

"But you have no right to deny me my own share of protective duties as a father -nor any other fatherly things. So...I would like it if you would stay with me at least some of the time, and not assume that I'll stand idly by if I am witness to something that I don't like.

"I never expected you to feel bound to me, nor I to you, but we do share a common bond with a baby now, and have decided to keep it, so that's got to count for something..."

As an afterthought, T'shiro figured he should just get all the insecurities out of the way now, by adding, "as long as I have your word that they baby is mine."

He knew where she'd been many nights the past few weeks, but he wanted to hear the words from her own mouth. It had also occurred to him that she wouldn't have come to him if she didn't think it was his...but if there were any question in her mind...? Anyway, she had no right to be mad at him for asking the question, because he'd never asked her to never sleep with another man; he'd always accepted the possibility that either of them could enjoy the company of another lover at any time.

T"shiro's expression still hadn't returned to the same happy one it'd been moments before, but at least tension had dissipated from him for the most part, allowing the sensation of her lips at his ear to soothe him. Taking a deep breath, he sighed again, closing his eyes so that he could relax in her presence as he usually did when they were together.

[HG]

The tension was something she was prepared for. Vaylee might not be the most intelligent woman but her empathy like many greenriders was very strong. She could tell how much rage and anger was being held back and the situation was only going to get worse if she did nothing. The man was being irrational. She knew that, he would know that if he heard himself and what he was telling her to do. Vaylee was not going to push things with him now though. Arguing had never been something she enjoyed. Brushing problems aside was much easier and it was how she normally dealt with situations where people became argumentative. She would much rather be friends with people than anger them. However she never was in a relationship with a man for long and perhaps this argument was just the beginning of a complicated next few months.

Did she have the patience and temperance to make it through without sending him into a rage? Vaylee wanted to believe she did but was it best for her and the child to be around someone who was so easy to anger? Maybe he expected her to be threatened and do what he said because of that? Vaylee might seem like a push over. In fact she liked seeming to be easy to get along with. People readily gave up secrets to someone they did not think of as a threat. And boy did she love hearing a secret and then spreading it around the Weyr with a fun twist added in. Never though had a she shared a deep enough bond with a man to know what his most secret and darkest thoughts were. Nor would she ever feel she had a right to pry that far into another person’s private world. He had no idea how to deal with her or he would have simply asked her for what he wanted.

He couldn’t see her which was perhaps for the better, all things considered. Vaylee kept her mouth shut for a moment before saying anything to his remark about trust. How could he care about her and think of her as some common drudge? Obviously she had misread the situation. Her frown was probably evident without seeing her and she kept herself from getting emotional over the thought that she would probably die so that he could have his precious child. All he was doing was accusing her of this and that. Cupith was becoming so agitated she started to pace her ledge, and disturbed others nearby with the little noises she was making. Cupith I’m okay, calm down. She was upset, yes but she did not have to deal with any of this if she did not want to. There was the door and she could easily walk through it and lie about the child’s parentage.

“I’ll do what I can.” Was what she managed to get out. However she could not truly promise the survival of her child. If she died the chance lessened and that had been her main goal right? Not to die. Now she understood he wanted her to live so that his offspring would have a better chance. Well she might just take back everything she had said and Between after all. The greenrider was not going to be able to hold it all in at some point. The hurt was going to just keep coming as long as she was here and no, she did not have to stay and listen. But Vaylee almost wished he would say something right, something that did not make her feel like a brood mare.

Did she really have to do this? Her doubts were creeping back in but she had agreed to let the thing live and it would upset Cupith if she did anything. The green wanted to think up names already. Vaylee responded in the same bland tone as before. “I understand.” She did not like the way this conversation had gone nor did she like where it went next. She could smack him. As it was her hands tightened on his shoulders, in a tense, upset way. Without warning she left go of him and pushed herself back.

“You are so insensitive.” She sprang off of the bed, as if she were made of something other than flesh. Again, she was a dragonrider and not some drudge, she should be treated with respect and love. There were plenty of men at the Weyr that could provide her with respect and love well, she simply wanted to be liked enough to be trusted. Vaylee did not have to be insulted like this. Sure she saw many men but never two at once. It was as loyal as she could be. Her relationships did not last long but she was true to who she was with while she was in them. Now he had pretty much told her the baby was his property and thus her body was. He did not trust her and he thought the baby might be someone else’s. She had had enough of this conversation.

She was halfway to the door before she said, “Since you seem to think I would waste time telling a man he was the father of a child I don’t want to risk my life over, we’ll just say it isn’t and you won’t have to deal with the issue any more. Goodbye.” And that was going to be the end of it. The tears in her eyes, she ignored. Apparently she had not run out of them as she had previously thought. Cupith’s agitation had reached a point where she was ready to contact Aphrioth. Vaylee’s twin would be the best person to comfort her and understand and to share in her sadness at all that had happened, all that would happen. The blonde’s hand was on the door now, she was resolved. She would leave now.

[Inadua]

The Bronzerider had felt the increased pressure of her squeeze on his shoulders, but it was not the same as when she was loving of him.

“You are so insensitive.”, “Since you seem to think I would waste time telling a man he was the father of a child I don’t want to risk my life over, we’ll just say it isn’t and you won’t have to deal with the issue any more. Goodbye.”

When Vaylee got up to leave him, he was wide-eyed and quick to get up from the bed to follow her.
No. No! She'd gotten him all wrong. He never intended for her to take his words as accusatory, he'd simply ... but they never.. but he...

The man's jaw tightened again in frustration, but he couldn't think of any words to say just then that would stop her.
Cru!!
The bronze had been eyeing the doorway leading into their weyr that led to the inner rooms now separating he and his rider. His broad head resting atop crossed fore-limbs.
The mix of anger and anguish coming from T'shiro's tone was like the raking of nails down a chalkboard in the dragon's mind. It was a sound he did not hear often, but it was terrible to him. Crucluith's great head lifted, watching to see if the door would open and the two humans would come to him.
What do you want me to do? You've been happy and angry and then happy and angry all night with Vaylee. How do you change emotions so fast? No wonder the one with your baby is so confused. I can hardly keep up with you.

CRU! You're not helping! Stop her! I don't know how! Don't let her do anything brash! I can't... Cru, just make sure Cupith understands to take really good care of Vaylee...and not go Between! If you must, then tell her those are orders!

While Crucluith busied himself with a new conversation involving Cupith, T"shiro returned to his thoughts on the crisis at hand.
T"shiro'd never asked anything of Vaylee! Was it so wrong of him to ask her for such things at a time like this? He'd never ever treated her with anything other than kindness. Even now! He told her he loved her by making her promise to live, by telling her that he'd protect her and their baby! That he even wanted to have a baby with her. Why did she want to go running away now? Was it the trust comment?! Trust, like 'falling in love' wasn't as simple as that in his book.

The Bronzerider lengthened his stride to catch up to her, reaching her just as she got to the door. Reaching for her arm, he was as gentle as possible as he spun Vaylee toward him, pressing her back against the wall where he could plant his hand against the closed door itself, effectively cutting off her exit. He didn't press himself any closer to her than that arms length, but he did steady her there with the other, free hand, keeping it loosely on her arm.

Why don't you just tell her that you love her. You are afraid of losing her, aren't you? I've heard that human females like to be told they are loved, just like the love between dragons and their riders.

The Bronze dragon's words shocked T'shiro enough that he seemed to lose focus for a moment; but when his wide eyes came into focus again, searching to meet Vaylee's own, the Bronzerider still seemed angry, but that frustration had now fallen upon himself. He was doubting himself now, and the words Crucluith spoke to him daunted him even more.
There was something else evident within those hazel oculars however, and that was fear...uncertainty.

It was as he'd said earlier, he didn't want Vaylee to die, but more than that, he didn't want her to leave him either. Nor did the Bronzerider want anything to happen to their baby. Was it so difficult for her to understand that? Why couldn't she just stay here with him?

"Vaylee."

For the love of Faranth's first flipping gold egg, why did Vaylee have to be so difficult!

A retort flew back at Crucluith, Why should I have to tell her that? She wouldn't even believe me if I said it now.

"Vaylee, I..."

And right in the middle of his words, Crucluith submitted the thought into both of their minds.
...He loves you.

In that same instant, T'shiro knew what his dragon had done. His eyes went wide. He felt an almost boyish sense of shyness and wasn't sure if he blushed, but he didn't care. Either way, he was sure to be turning a shade or two of red because of his overall frustration for the entire situation that he believed Crucluith had just made worse. If it wasn't Vaylee, it was his life-mate!
The Bronzerider's voice rang out both mentally and aloud, his eyes fixing momentarily on the door he held his weight against. "CRUUUUUU!!!"

[HG]

Cupith was all sweetness and soothing as Vaylee reached for the door. And she almost had before he touched her arm and pinned her to the wall next to the door. Her breathing quickened, her eyes questioning what was happening in that moment. In his eyes she saw fear or something akin to it. Why was he afraid? There was nothing for him to be afraid of. She would never let harm come to her baby, even if she had to sacrifice her own life. Cupith would not be so excited about the situation if Vaylee had plans to destroy it. If that was what he was worried about, he need not bother.

He was having as much trouble as she was earlier though it was not driven by the same fear. Hers was a long running fear, something she had dared hope would never happen to her happened. Even as a child she knew she would not have children and since working in the infirmary, her fear had only become more validated. His fear was for something much more fresh and new. It was why he could not face the issue directly, it was why she was suddenly hearing a different voice than his.

He loves you. She heard the dragon say but how could he? Had he not just done everything he could to push her away? His body language said more than he could and his accusatory call to his Bronze. Was that why he was acting like this? Why could he not have said that in the first place? Well he had not said it to her but dragons knew their rider’s thoughts so he must have been about to say it right? Vaylee was a bit perplexed at the moment. She was torn between believing he was doing all of this out of concern for her wellbeing and believing he was doing this to control her. How could he love her and not trust her?

“You love me?” She said, as if still digesting the words. Vaylee was struggling with the whole concept of love. She knew what it was. She had heard other people talk about it. Was it some kind of desperation that drew people together or a feeling that some people belonged together. The greenrider did not belong to anyone, she wanted that to be clear. He was so possessive right now she found it increasingly difficult to believe he felt anything for her… but dragons did not lie. Crucluith would never had said it if it were untrue.

Vaylee, stop trying to analyze it. Love cannot be measured. It cannot be proven. It simply is. There is no giving it back once it is given to you. Stop thinking, start feeling.

[/color] the green stopped her rider from doing something incredibly callous. Cupith was right of course. Love was not something she could control, nor could T’shiro. Hearts did as they pleased with little thought for the people who possessed them. Her own feelings were confusing to her. She had spent more time with him than she originally thought. It was more than once in a while as she liked to think of it.

Vaylee was here all the time when she wasn’t busy or really needing time to herself. She’d never spent that much time with any man. Her sensitivity to his words all evening had been because she valued what he thought of her. She wanted him to look favorably on her. The eagerness to be whatever he wanted her to be, it was somewhat demeaning really. Although being vulnerable was part of letting other people in. She was allowing herself to be taken in by him. Even now, how long would she really have been angry with him? A day, two? All he had to do was come and see her with his usual, self-assured self and say something that took her off her guard and she would be all over him. Sure part of this was lust she would not deny that was how it all started. Now though, things had progressed in such a way she had no idea what to think of their relationship. He was controlling, arrogant, proud, authoritative…and perfect.

Her face was flushed, since he was staring her down and it was taking her so long to reply. “I have feelings for you too, T’shiro. It’s the reason I’ve decided to go through with this.” She said indicating the baby. If she did not care about his claim, she would surely have found a way without Cupith to get her the abortion she would have desired. You just couldn’t use the word love, could you? I will use it when I know for sure that’s how I feel. I don’t want to just say it because he did. Have it your way. Don’t come crying to me when he moves on with someone who admits their honest feelings… Cupith, have a little patience. Hmm. The green was silent but she was used to Vaylee having things her way.

Reaching a hand to cup his cheek, “I would never betray your love for me.” Taking a step forward she leaned in to plant a gentle, sweet kiss on his mouth. She would honor his love by continuing to be faithful and to spend time around him rather than other men. But this was because she wanted to do it not because he ordered her to. “If you wish, I can stay with you tonight.”


[/blockquote]

[Inadua]

Why did you have to go say something like that!?

Because you wouldn't say it. You never say it. You deny it, but you know that's how you feel.

The entire twist of events this evening had rendered T'shiro feeling suddenly defenseless. No amount of training he'd ever been a part of before could have prepared him for this evening. But he welcomed it. Romance? Love? A new experience that he'd never even taken the time to consider would ever find its way into his life. Maybe that is part of the reason why he'd been feeling so aggressive all evening. It was all foreign to him.

The Bronzerider's first instinctive urge was to reject any change in his heart. But where wasthat sense of adventure? Where was that sense of wanting to live life to the fullest? Where was that sense of rebellion by pushing every limit and testing every boundary? Why couldn't a real romance play into the scheme of his life?

“You love me?”

Obviously T'shiro was having just as much trouble knowing what to do or say next. Vaylee's words rang through his ears strangely and he wanted to remind her that HE wasn't the one who'd actually said it...but somehow...somehow he felt like he'd be lying by saying he didn't mean it. He would just have to have a long talk with Crucluith later!


“I have feelings for you too, T’shiro. It’s the reason I’ve decided to go through with this.”, “I would never betray your love for me.”

Even as Vaylee's lips brushed against his for the kiss, he was unable to respond right away. T'shiro still seemed to be absorbing the shock of his draconic counterpart's bold move and was still trying to deny any true depth of feeling for the Greenrider. Crucluith didn't seem to want to let that happen though.

You only make this difficult for yourself.

This kiss felt different than the others. The sensation that it left him with was not the usual lustful ardor that had previously probably been the sole substance of their relationship. T'shiro however, could find no reason to reject it, even though resistance pulled his heart strings in other directions.

So, it was before misguided reason or uncertainty could interfere that his heart led him on the first steps down the unknown path. The Bronzerider's lips accepted Vaylee's kiss fervently. Both hands gripped her arms, pressing her between himself and the wall. Though his actions were in a fervid expression of passion, it all felt new to him...it all felt like Vaylee's loving kiss.

While their lips were occupied, his hands roamed downward to explore her body, coming to rest softly at her hips where thumbs stroked with tender affection over her abdomen.

It might take time -maybe a generous length of time-, but he would learn to be more gentle with her. He would learn to speak more kindly toward her. He would learn to be more considerate of of her feelings. He would be watchful over her. All of these things, he would learn to do for her and their baby.