Doubts on Dragons (Candidate Master)

[freya]

Quelas sighed as he went down the hallway that lead to the candidate master's office. He wondered how many times he had done the last few turns because he'd failed to impress. The young man had doubts that he ever would because he knew that the dragnets could sense the fear in his heart. It had how happened a few turns ago when his father had died going in between with his dragon. A fear that lived on in his son because he felt that way every time he was at a hatching and had pulled back in his desire for a dragon. When he knocked on the door and waited for a answer a feeling of dread overwhelmed him. If he didn't impress at the next few clutches of these new queens then he'd have to leave the weyr because he couldn't stand these mixed feelings anymore.

He remembered the feelings of looking into a dragnet's eyes just when he thought it would chose him and watch it turn away to someone else. It was no doubt in his mind that there would be a clutch soon as both golds we're in their prime and due to rise soon. The entire weyr was talking about it and he sighed inwardly as he caught his breath. His father would be very disappointed in him because he'd expected his son to impress just as he had. The family line had always been riders whether it was women on green or men on another color this was what his family did.

Quelas had watched the other candidates as they busily did their chores and talked about impressing a dragon. He just hoped to get over this fear and prove to himself that he could impress. The young man wanted most of all to ride a brown just like his father before him. A desire that made his heart ache at every hatching and he waited for an answer from the other side of the door.

[Lady Smara]

It was one of the few times that S’nuo was actually in the candidate office as he went over the lists again. It had been a true surprise to see not only one gold close to flying be transferred to the Weyr, but have the second gold jump between to this time as well. Since then S’nuo realized just how behind he was in coming to know the candidates and how short of candidates they were going to be if both queens rose soon – which was the feeling Malith was picking up on. Being as empathic as the little blue was, S’nuo had no reason to doubt the blue in this matter.

Hearing the knock at his door, S’nuo put the hide down that he was looking at to move forward and pull at the handle. Finding the candidate Quelas there, S’nuo knew the young man instantly. He was no new candidate, having stood a few times before. Seeing him here, however, with the worried look on his face had the blue rider lifting an eyebrow and motioning the young man inside.

“What can I help you with, Quelas? It looks like you’ve got something heavy on your mind.”

[freya]

Quelas heard a voice on the other side invite him in and he took a deep breath then went inside. He saw the older man was at his desk then saw the empty seat in front of the desk. The place seemed to have changed little even with a new candidate master and realized that he'd been in 0here one to many times. It seemed that he came here after a every hatching disappointed and this was his last time that he would try to impress. "Yes, I'm here because I'm very apprehensive about the upcoming hatchings that will no doubt take place with two young queens set to rise," said Quelas as he ran a hand through his hair. He knew that his story was well known to everyone and was tired of the looks of sympathy that he kept getting.

The young man often heard whispers of how he was a disappointment or maybe he really wasn't his father's son. He would walk upon groups of candidates talking and they would suddenly stop talking. Quelas said, "I've come to a decision if I don't impress this time around then I'm leaving the weyr I can't keep going through this,". His heart wouldn't last another hatching of not impressing and looked at the candidate master for answers. A deep wave of respect came from Quelas for this was a man who seemed to balance so many duties. "I just can't keep doing this," said Quelas as he thought of having to watch others impress and him standing alone. He was often told that his life mate just hadn't been shelled yet he knew it was him. It was if the hatchling could read his heart and see the fear of ending up like his father.

His hands rested in his lap as he looked at the man and sighed for a small moment. The eyes darted around to different areas of the room and back to the candidate master. Quelas didn't know what he would do or where he would go. He might try a small cot hold after all most welcomed weyrfolk with skills and he could maybe have a life there. A small thought occurred to him he wouldn't be the first candidate to never impress a dragon and these people had gone on with their lives.